Have you ever had so much time on your hands that you simply don’t know what to do? Since losing my job a couple weeks ago, I’ve found myself almost paralyzed with apathy and boredom, all the while lamenting on how much I need to do. I have a dissertation to work on, I have a ton of things that need to be done with the organizations I volunteer for, my apartment needs cleaning, I need to be looking for work, and there are a myriad of little projects I’ve been putting off that I should be working on. And yet, I find myself watching re-runs of The Dick Van Dyke Show and M*A*S*H.
I suppose part of it can be attributed to depression over my current situation. Seriously, did anyone expect that I would lose my job of seven years and not suffer some depression? Perhaps two weeks is long enough to pine away in self-pity. Perhaps it’s time to rouse myself from my solipsistic stupor and get back into some sort of routine. I don’t know. I don’t know if there is a time-frame for the stages of grief. I just know I’m getting restless. I need to be doing something.
This blog is part of that something. I realize few, if any, people actually read this blog, but for me, it represents not just a catharsis, an outlet for my thoughts and emotions, but it also represents doing something.
There. I have done something today. Now on to the rest of my list.